people keep asking me if i'm okay. the funny thing is that it takes me a few seconds to realize they are referring to the whole stuart thing. i kinda chuckle when i realize this and say, "i'm fine." i say i'm fine because i have pushed the real issue out of my mind. we did foster care for years. we had two little boys. eric and damien. brothers. a year apart. eric stayed with us for a few years. then he went to another home. one that had better training to deal with him. he was pretty messed up. we adopted damien. another family adopted eric. a few days ago, eric told damien he was being sexually molested. damien said that...its not abuse...its not abuse, but its bad. he was meaning abuse in the "beating up" way. my mom got a few more of the details from him. from what we can tell, eric is being sexually molested. we reported it. eric denied it. theres nothing we can do now. but i believe him. i believe it happened and is happening. and there is nothing we can do.
all i want to do right now is go home. go home and crawl into my mother's arms. cry in my mother's arms. she'll cry too. dad will try to be strong but he'll cry too. none of us know what to do. not even my uncle, the pastor. the pca pastor whose supposed to know the answers. not even him. so if you ask if i'm alright, the answer is no. i'm not. so don't ask. just help me distract myself. help me laugh and play. help me pretend that life is good right now.
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