okay....now what?

okay. so being home all day tends to make me obsess. (well, staying up all night doesnt help either) well, it turns out that this is actually not a good thing. wow, imagine that. so i just keep having to remind myself of what i really want to do and then, im okay...well, okay-er. *sigh. i think i should just give up. release, submit, sacrifice, etc. my check finally came today...my last check. i feel like im being backed up into a corner. the walls just keep closing in. closer...closer...closer. for those of you who have not figured out my biggest fear...im claustrophobic. not badly, but yeah, getting stuck in places and not being able to breath makes me freak out. and it goes for psychological situations too. so i am backing into a corner here and the only way out is birmingham...i dont think i can take this much longer. if i stay here, bad things will happen. (i tend to use my claws when i feel cornered)