i was driving home tonight. i was leaving behind someone i thought was a friend. someone i just realized had used me. i was lonely and felt abandoned. it would be easier to just give him the benefit of the doubt...maybe he did love me...i would rather think everything he said was true...i would rather think he is better than that. i would rather think he didnt feed me a load of bs.
none of my friends would pick up their phones. first, rachel....twice, then stuart...then jonathan...ayla's phone was off....finally kaylor picked up but she was at work. it was raining and it's cold...like 59....thats cold. so here i am, speeding along the narrow back roads, on my cell phone, trying to stay on the road with the glare from my headlights and my poor little wipers trying as hard as they can and the slick roads....and no one picked up. i needed to do something, i was already speeding (about 70 on wet, curvy roads) so i rolled down my window...in the rain. the drops stung my hand as i played in the wind. that seemed to somewhat satiate my lust for...something, some sort of action. i enjoy rain, and the cold bit through the cloud of...something. it brought a sort of clarity and sharpness to everything.
i cant sleep during the day anymore...im gonna have to get up early. they are painting our roof...our metal roof. that means they have to scrape off all the old paint first. which means i cant sleep during the day. so, sometime in the morning there are about 4 mexicans outside my window...i can hear them talking and walking around on the loud, metal roof. bits of spanish drift in and out...i can only understand a few words.
ha...3 years of spanish and all i get are a few words.
on an upnote...i found out my uncle DOES NOT have cancer. Thank you, Lord.
i want to make coffee. i bought two gormet coffees and i want to make one of them. but then ill be up all freaking night. that might not be so bad. there are about four movies ive been meaning to watch. i could just stay up all night then nap throughout the day. then ill take a benadryl and go to bed at like, oh, 9. sometimes i have to completely screw up my schedule to get it back on track...i tried to get up at 7:45 this morning...ha...right
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hey girl. i can't talk on the phone after 10 PM. at all. sorry. but my home phone is (706) 745- 7362, and i'm home all day. if you get my voicemail on my cell, call the house.
love you so much!
ayla
Eihley!!! I'm glad at least someone picked up the phone. Why didn't you tell me you were sad and lonely? I'm sorry. I think he should be shot and peed on.
peed on? could we spit on him too?
my poor girl-- relationships aren't much fun are they? anyway love, you know my phone number (404)277 4762-- if you ever need to call and rant-- well, I'm around.
i love you guys sooo much...thank you...i would have called you but i knew that jane had her phone off at the time and u storyteller, i didnt want to wake u up cuz i wasnt sure about ur work hours
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