I don't agree with everything she says."
Rachel Held Evans recently came out with a book, A Year of Biblical Womanhood, and lots of friends and acquaintances have tentatively recommended her blog and book using the exact phrase above. Every time I've heard someone say this, it has rankled more and more. At first I thought it was just that it seems unnecessary - "oh really? you don't agree with everything someone says? obviously I thought you liked everything about everything." It was like someone saying they enjoy Dexter but don't approve of serial killers - is this really a distinction that needs to be made? Turns out it isn't simply the assumption that I'm a dunce and think you incapable of disagreeing with someone you like, but in fact has its roots in what I believe is spiritual abuse.
We, the ladies I love and myself, come from a background where everything recommended is "vetted." We're coming from a lifestyle where to recommend something is to say "THIS IS RIGHT" and pastors and certain writers are labeled trustworthy (and to question them is unthinkable) - this is a cultish veneration of the Leader. It disturbs me that we are assumed too weak and gullible to discern wisdom or to test the spirits. I am no longer a child in middle school. I know to be wary in this world. I've seen what manipulative teaching looks like. I don't follow blindly. I don't need your protection. My decisions are made carefully and prayerfully. I feel like this phrase is a shorthand for - be careful, she's dangerous. That in and of itself is a judgement of her salvation in my eyes - you think giving her a recommendation might lead someone astray?Of course, she and I differ on some stuff. I differ with EVERYONE on some stuff. I don't see this qualification as necessary. I have a brain and I like using it.
Rant over.
Rachel Held Evans recently came out with a book, A Year of Biblical Womanhood, and lots of friends and acquaintances have tentatively recommended her blog and book using the exact phrase above. Every time I've heard someone say this, it has rankled more and more. At first I thought it was just that it seems unnecessary - "oh really? you don't agree with everything someone says? obviously I thought you liked everything about everything." It was like someone saying they enjoy Dexter but don't approve of serial killers - is this really a distinction that needs to be made? Turns out it isn't simply the assumption that I'm a dunce and think you incapable of disagreeing with someone you like, but in fact has its roots in what I believe is spiritual abuse.
We, the ladies I love and myself, come from a background where everything recommended is "vetted." We're coming from a lifestyle where to recommend something is to say "THIS IS RIGHT" and pastors and certain writers are labeled trustworthy (and to question them is unthinkable) - this is a cultish veneration of the Leader. It disturbs me that we are assumed too weak and gullible to discern wisdom or to test the spirits. I am no longer a child in middle school. I know to be wary in this world. I've seen what manipulative teaching looks like. I don't follow blindly. I don't need your protection. My decisions are made carefully and prayerfully. I feel like this phrase is a shorthand for - be careful, she's dangerous. That in and of itself is a judgement of her salvation in my eyes - you think giving her a recommendation might lead someone astray?Of course, she and I differ on some stuff. I differ with EVERYONE on some stuff. I don't see this qualification as necessary. I have a brain and I like using it.
Rant over.
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