the gentle, familiar sounds of iron and wine play as i sit drinking greyfriars coffee from my favorite mug. curled up on my bed, warm in my room as the mountain top is wrapped softly in cloud...two of my very best friends just as warm and comfortable on the other two beds next to me. red folds of my skirt fall softly over my legs and the bed. lazy sunday evening...studying when i dont really have to, with drowsiness settling slowly in...the last of the coffee fighting it off weakly. struggling more out of habit than out of actual resistance.
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the contrast of tonight with last is startling. last night i had not the energy or passion to love anything. lost in the valleys of my mind, valleys of my pain, i cried stale tears of indifference, for the pain had finally eaten through the numbness like an acid, but had yet to breech the indifference that silently suffocated my heart. i could love nothing and no one last night. tonight, the gentle light of morning peeks through the leaf lattice of the forest i have lost myself in...the bruises on my arms once again resemble handprints, and i have found that i am no longer drowning in a sea of darkness. the sweetness of life has triumphed over the bitter...no matter how much the bitterness outweighs the sweet. i have a long way until the top of the mountain...a long way until the next valley...but i am content because i know they are coming, i am content because i know i am no longer stumbling deeper downward through the grasping trees. i am climbing, and no matter how steep or how slippery, i always prefer the upward slope.
1 comment:
YOU'RE COMING TO SEE ME!!!!!
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