the sun it shines on yesterday

i am sitting here and the sun is shining. the sun is still shining and i cant speak of the deep thoughts in my heart because it is day. the sunlight is harsh and public and these thoughts and fears are fragile. these little pieces of myself are allergic to the bright sunlight streaming in through my window. so i hide them, and the smell of honeysuckle spreads through the air. i remember walking up the hill and seeing the berry bushes blooming. instead of baring my tender heart, i think i will go for a walk...perhaps the sweetness of the wild strawberries will distract my mind from...myself...perhaps i will be able to forget everything except the grass and the juice of the berries and the sunset...but night will come and again the sweet release of sleep. if i cant find strawberries, blackberries will do. and tomorrow will be a happy day...filled with things and family and people i love. its the endless days filled with nothing that scare the hell out of me. so im going to go eat berries now and forget that life goes on and pain is coming and remember that the berries taste good.