currently:

enjoying two very broken people yelling at each other to not be so very broken.

sticky feet from human waste all over the bathroom floor.

an hour and a half and it's still not clean.

emotional breakdown.

cue exhaustion.

what i think i believe, written in the pauses.

how can you see anything if the mirror reflects the mirror?

the truth is there, so sharp. finger pressed firmly against the knife...at the threshold of pain; and knowing. is it better for the blood to run? or for us to be left with the red, raised scratches on our arms...from the back of your head to the base of your shoulders. is it better to bleed under the surface? to bruise or to make a mess of things? yes it gets everywhere...and it's hard to clean up...and it's a bitch even with stain remover.
then again...i've felt a sharp pain before, and it was only nerves twinging.
i wonder how many people understand the minute heart attack and the emptiness of that lost beat when the speakers flicker...even when you're not expecting a call.
what a strange place this is.




yes, i believe in love,
yes, i'm a dreamer.
but i'm not alone
there are more of us than you suspect
and we've got bombs.
truth and beauty bombs.

{i didnt mean what i said...i'm sorry}

something i heard once...or twice

If you hate the taste of wine
Why do you drink it until you’re blind?
And if you swear that there’s no truth and who cares
How come you say it like you’re right?
Why are you scared to dream of god
When it’s salvation that you want?
You see stars that clear have been dead for years
But the idea just lives on

In our wheels that roll around
As we move over the ground
And all day it seems we’ve been in between the past and future town

We are nowhere, and it’s now
We are nowhere, and it’s now
You took a ten-minute dream in the passengers seat
While the world it was flying by
I haven’t been gone very long
But it feels like a lifetime

I’ve been sleeping so strange at night
Side effects they don’t advertise
I’ve been sleeping so strange
With a head full of pesticide

I got no plans and too much time
I feel to restless to unwind
I’m always lost in thought
As I walk a block to my favourite neon sign
Where the waitress looks concerned
But she never says a word
Just turns the jukebox on
And we hum along
And I smile back at her

And my friend comes after work
When the features start to blur
She says these bars are filled with things that kill
And you probably should have learned

Did you forget that yellow bird?
How could you forget that yellow bird?

She took a small silver wreathe and pinned it onto me
She said this one will bring you love
I don’t know if it’s true but I keep it for good luck

so i just might get addicted to xanga again. you should see the new stuff they've come up with. it puts the new layout thing that blogger/google has to shame. check mine out.

ehiley

Brick: And what is the victory of a cat on a hot tin roof?

Maggie: Just staying on it I guess, long as she can.

fin.

i would really appreciate prayer right now. even just a little one. like right now, every time you read this...just a little prayer for help and for me to be focused on God.

thanks.