heros and signs

sometimes this world feels so dull. like everything is covered with a grimy layer of dirt that distorts and perverts everything. nothing to be passionate about....nothing left of yourself to make it worthwhile to keep going.

Coping

I sit down and look at this tangled mess that is my life. Sorting through, I pick apart the tangled strings of thought and feeling, looking at them, figuing out where they go and what they are. Arranging them in neat and orderly rows. Then I sleep.....
When I wake, the neatly sorted emotions have once again become a tangled, jumbled mess. The tossing and turning of my dreams has undone all the hard work of yesterday. I awake as confused as ever. Yet, every day I remember more of the pattern. I remember where each thought and feeling is placed. Hopefully, soon I will memorize the pattern. Then perhaps it won't take me all day, and night, to untangle my thoughts and feelings, the threads of my life.